Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
