it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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