his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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