your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
