maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
