Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
