i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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