everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
and you fell through a lawn chair
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
