just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
