You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So vagazzling was a success
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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