I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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