All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
