you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
