saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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