you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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