Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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