I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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