i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
