Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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