Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Randomize
