That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
