yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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