Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
