We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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