Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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