eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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