Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
