I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
