what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
