big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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