So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
