it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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