I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
