Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my being single is dangerous.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
