I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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