Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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