Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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