On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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