Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
