oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
