just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
