I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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