I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
