So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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