Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
