So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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