fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
