yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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