We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
