I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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