Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
