Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
