I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
